Sunday, April 29, 2012
Encouraging Independence
The family life cycle is a seven stage model of family development. Stage four: Encouraging Independence is the stage that most stands out to me as a mother. The reality that I have to prepare my boys to be self-sufficient and not rely on me for success is very daunting. While I accept the fact that people who do well in life need to be independent, it still hurts to know that I need to encourage them to live their own lives because it isn’t what I want. I would love to have them to myself forever. This chapter opened my eyes to something that I was trying to ignore. They are growing up quickly, and part of loving them is making sure that they will always be o.k. It is going to be difficult for me, but I am going to have to start letting go. It is what is best for them, and that is all I really want.
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Hey Xylia! thanks for the post. I thought this was an important aspect discussed in this chapter, but decided to write about something else in my own post. Anyways, I thought that encouraging independence is important when raising a child, and can see how you see this importance because you are a mother. I think your perspective of being a mother really sheds the light on this topic for you and the way you explain it makes me understand it more as well. Overall, i think that installing independence in my kids ( when it have them) will be a hard task like it is for you, but ulitmentaly that independence will lead there to success.
ReplyDeleteMy mom went through the same thing with me and my sister. It was scary for her as well, but as the product of her upbringing, I realize now that i appreciate her for giving me my sense of independence . Hopefully your boys will see the same in you as they get older and will appreciate you even more.
ReplyDeleteThis is so cute, as a college student I definitely can relate and understand where your boys are coming from because I went through the same thing with my mom, as did my sister. I can completely understand your point of view too because it's not easy being a mother and the hardest part about it is letting them go and grow up on whichever path they may take. I think that if you think of it in an optimistic way, that "I taught them well so no matter who or what they choose to be or do, they have the best intentions that they learned from me", that's how my mom learned from it. She knows I'm a good kid so even if growing up isn't want she'll want to accept for awhile, she knows that she has set me off onto the right path regardless. Acceptance and change are definitely a hard step and transition but you will always get through it. And when you do accept they're growing up and the changes, they'll appreciate you THAT much more. I definitely did.
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