The International Listening Association inspired me to invest in my listening skills because as it states, success or failure throughout life is often dependent on how well or poorly we listen. Several tips were recommended in order to improve and polish our listening skills such as minimizing mind wandering, using patience with less than impressive speakers, keeping your mind on the topic discussion, and focusing on key points rather than minute details. Of all the tips provided, I was most intrigued by the ILA’s second tip: Judge Content, not delivery. I responded to it because I could relate.
You see, before I met my husband, my Spanish was extremely limited. Like most teens I worked in retail during High School, and because I am Chicana most Spanish speaking customers assumed I spoke the language. I ALWAYS made an effort to communicate through interpretation J or broken translations (I’d offer poor Spanish, and they’d offer poor English) and we managed to succeed every time. When I started dating my husband who’s first language is Spanish we began frequenting Mexican restaurants. I would order my two tacos and the waitresses would look at me with bewilderment as though they had no idea what I was saying. My husband (then boyfriend) would take over and place my order for me. I remember feeling awkward (not embarrassed) about my American accent and being discouraged by a new self-consciousness that I had never had before.
Now that I can communicate in Spanish with the best of them I realize that no matter how “American” my accent might have been, there is no way those waitresses could not have understood me when I said taco. They were simply reflecting their own insecurities onto me through the little opportunity that they had. There were many waitresses who were kind and patient, and I feel glad for them because I know they are secure within themselves just as I was when I tried to make those who did not speak fluent English feel comfortable. Looking back, those not-so-nice waitresses would really benefit from this tip (pardon the pun). J
This was so interesting to read! Thank you for sharing this story! When you mentioned that waitresses looked at you funny when you were ordering in Spanish, it made me think back to the beginning of your post when you said that listening requires focusing on key points rather than a minutes details. They definitely focused on the details. Instead of trying to listen to you and understand your order, the waitresses judged you on your delivery. I think that anyone attempting to speak a language that isn’t their first learned language is hard and they should be applauded for even trying! Good job! :)
ReplyDeleteHey Xylia,
ReplyDeleteI definitely enjoyed your blog post on judging by content, not by delivery. I am Vietnamese born, but I am not at all fluent in the language. I can speak to my parents, who speak mainly Vietnamese but not much English, if not at all. The older Vietnamese folks sometimes try to correct my mispronounced Vietnamese, but they understand what I said. By reading your detailed post, I could almost imagine the situation that happened to you and how you felt about it. Just because you couldn't deliver it perfectly like how the waitress could, at least you said it in a way that anyone with basic Spanish could understand.
I can relate to how you felt about speaking "spanglish" I will call it. I am have latino as well and grew up in a primarily Latino neighborhood. Growing up spanish was spoken all around me so I could understand basic things, and of course high school classes further increased my understanding. I am dating a "pure" Latina now; I say pure because her first language is spanish and her parents are from Mexico City; and I am so interested in learning to speak fluently. I understand how not knowing the language that well can be a barrier because when I speak to her parents, I have difficulties, as do they, but I don't feel embarrassment, for me or, them, instead I feel the urge to learn and become better at the language. It is something that I have yet to do, but hopefully through listening to her and her parents, and through my own personal venture, I will be able to learn spanish fluently.
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