Grace

Grace is such an important part of being happy that I think it deserves more attention in the class. People waste their whole lives being bitter and resentful. If the benefits of forgiving were made more public in our culture I believe that we would see a significant decrease in the amount of unhappy, angry, depressed people in society. It takes a lot to forgive (a lot), but when the consequences of holding on to negative feelings are weighed, I truly believe that we owe it to ourselves to let go, even when there isn’t any reason to do so. I’m not saying that we should have to keep toxic people in our lives. It is always o.k. and best to walk away from abusive situations whether emotional or physical. All I am saying is that once we have been violated, there is nothing that can change this; it happened. The only thing left to do is decide what we want to do with our feelings, and I think the best choice is always forgiveness because it frees our heart from the pain. A lot of people are struggling with this right now, and I think the subject should be given more focus.

We should have to rotate our responses from week to week in order to be fair

My favorite thing about this class was our discussions. I loved reading my blog responses. Everyone in class is so encouraging and friendly. It was almost like a little secret getaway from my husband and kids where I could have short exchanges with others that were sharing in my class experience. My least favorite thing about the class was noticing when others did not have comments on their blogs. I don’t know if they cared, but I did. I tried to visit everyone’s blog at least once throughout the course. I know that our responses were not structured in this way because there is no way of ensuring that students are going to do the assigned postings, but I do believe that there is a way to better ensure that no one is being left out. Maybe students should have to respond to three different classmates from the previous week. Even if they just go back and forth between six blogs, this would be better than having them visit their favorite three all semester long. In this way, students have a better chance of not being overlooked as often. I don’t know, maybe it's just the mom in me wanting everyone to get a turn. J

I learned how to be a better communicator

I am a better communicator as a result of this course. I have come to realize that I was guilty of monopolizing “continuously focusing communication on [myself] instead of listening to the person who is talking” (Wood, 153). I have since invested much effort into eliminating this ineffective listening habit. Like most, I am turned off by self-centeredness, so when I became aware that I was demonstrating this attitude through my communication I was appalled and embarrassed. No one had ever brought it to my attention (to their good, patient, and tolerant testament), but a big part of being a good communicator is self-monitoring, and I do not think you should wait until someone complains if you truly want to improve and be a good listener and friend. We all make mistakes, and we can all learn from them. A great way to support one another when we are guilty of being poor listeners is the practice of dual-perspective. Because communication can be subjective we should all attempt to practice dual-perspective in order to prevent hurt feelings whenever possible. By looking at situations from another’s perspective we can save ourselves a lot of time by understanding their point/intentions from the start; rather than having to deal with the conflict-awkwardness-explanation-understanding process. This class opened my eyes to just how big a part communication plays in every aspect of our lives. Our communication styles impact the overall success or failure of our relationships, careers, and first impressions. For this reason, everyone can benefit from courses like these. I believe that we will all profit from this investment in not only our education , but personal lives as well.

Encouraging Independence

The family life cycle is a seven stage model of family development. Stage four: Encouraging Independence is the stage that most stands out to me as a mother. The reality that I have to prepare my boys to be self-sufficient and not rely on me for success is very daunting. While I accept the fact that people who do well in life need to be independent, it still hurts to know that I need to encourage them to live their own lives because it isn’t what I want. I would love to have them to myself forever. This chapter opened my eyes to something that I was trying to ignore. They are growing up quickly, and part of loving them is making sure that they will always be o.k. It is going to be difficult for me, but I am going to have to start letting go. It is what is best for them, and that is all I really want.

In 50 years marriage will be...

I believe that the majority of marriages will be separate type relationships where independence is an important priority. With both men and women in the workforce, we are beginning to see a new kind of marriage relationship where self reliance is the norm. Divorce is becoming more common and people are not as closed minded as they once were. I believe that gay marriages will be as common as interracial marriages (these relationships were once taboo also but have rightfully gained acceptance in society). The next generation will grow up in a society that is more accepting of one another’s choices. I predict that many people will embrace the idea that life is short and that happiness should be top priority. I do not think that people will invest as much in difficult marriages knowing that second or third marriages are always an option. I think that in the next upcoming fifty years we will see a more lax approach to the sanctity of marriage, but I may be wrong.

Meet my posse:

You Are My Sunshine
My only sunshine.
You make me happy When skies are grey.
You'll never know, dear,
How much I love you.
Please don't take my sunshine away...

Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing in our own sunshine.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Family is a support system

For me family is a support system. Anyone that enables you faithfully and has given you the comfort of knowing that you can count on them for anything from confiding to protection. I believe that friends who provide this valuable support can be claimed as family, though I recognize that circumstances do not provide for all friends to support each other through thick and thin; only those who can always be relied on should be considered family in my opinion. Right now my family consists of a vital marriage/traditional marriage and we are currently in stage two of the family life cycle with two toddlers at home. My husband works and I am a stay at home mother and student for the time being. We do not apply the social exchange theory to our family dynamic. It is understood that sometimes one of us is simply going to have to do more than our fair share in order to maintain family stability. These differences in contribution may be attributed to my exhaustion, my husband’s lack of presence due to work, viruses, external stresses, family emergencies, etc. We respect and accept the fact that our marriage is more than give and take. We are a supportive unit that allows us the privilege to take when we cannot give, and give when the other is unable. For us, it is quite rare for the give and take to be balanced on both ends. If we were to focus on this, I believe that we would find ourselves dissatisfied and resentful. It is much easier to give when you see it as an honor to help your loved one than an obligation.